Trump's Speech on Race

CNN reported that the White House war room is considering that the only way to right the ship of state and thus Trump's campaign is for him to deliver a blockbuster speech on Race Relations and Police--a speech that would obliterate anything Barack Obama ever dreamed of giving--something that would set the new standard.

Our agent, Max Insider has gotten his hands on a draft of the speech--on the president could give while at the same time, offering something for everyone. Let's look!

My Fellow Americans, and those of you who voted for Lock-Her-Up Clinton, these are the times that Charlie St. Daniels warned us about: This Lady May Have Stumbled and she needs a helping hand, from all of us, to prevent her from falling and breaking the Hip Bone of Justice.

Today I am announcing a new set of initiatives and an old perspective that has been kept from you by that axis of evil, the Mainstream Media and Communist Red China: The fact--and they will 'fact check this'--that I freed the Negro Americans from the bondage of Slavery.

It is little known but the Emancipation Proclamation was never fully ratified until I took office and a news blackout of me finally signing it into law has been keeping this piece of information from our citizens by the lawless unconstitutional slanderous and libelous journalists that seek to overturn the will of the American People and hand our great nation to the Hillary Voters.

(pause for applause)
(camera focuses on African American or, if necessary, Jared Kushner in blackface. He wildly applauds and does 'hip-hop' dance move to the delight of the very not-racist MAGA Crowd).

In light of that, it is time we restored balance: I am announcing the MAGA Initiative which will bring to white people the same kind of freedom and opportunity that I have brought to blacks.

1. I will personally pardon every police officer and / or woman named Karen using their authority to try to keep order and peace.
2. A new amendment to protect open-carriers from the terrible discrimination they have been long subjected to.
3. Abolish the Electoral College in favor of Trump University.
4. A bill to make lynching illegal in most circumstances and to have the Ukrainian investigative services review any police officers alleged to be engaged in such activity.
5. I will mandate plastic straws for all beverages and promise to force states to have their registered democrat voters rake forests continually if they want federal aid for forest fires or hurricanes that strike low income collored areas.
6. Finally, I am declaring July 3rd MAGA Night, a night where, for 24 hours, all crime is legal.

Thank you all, and do not be fooled by the fake news about this speech and especially that bit about the slaves. There are no bigger liars than journalists followed closely by liberal historians.

(pause for applause)