All Lives Matter To The Buddha

The Omnivore had a conversation with a Zen Master (?) who declared that "All Lives Matter" was the position of Buddhist philosophy.

And he was getting beat up on Facebook for it.

For the record? The Omnivore does not think the grade-A Zen Master complains about being beat up on Facebook--but perhaps it is a deeper koan than The Omnivore is used to? What is the sound of one-hand typing*?

In any event, at the risk of being smacked by the apocryphal Zen Stick of the didactic Zen Master, The Omnivore is gonna explain why "All Lives Matter" is not the position of the Buddha.

You've Heard This Before, Right? Maybe Not

You would be forgiven for nodding along with this as you, Omnivorous Reader, already know that the slogan Black Lives Master is a response to a society that has treated--for quite a while--black lives as though they don't matter. If it was "Black Lives Matter TOO" perhaps everyone else, including the Zen Master would be nodding along comfortably in agreement.

Comfortably.

What was the last time you heard of a Zen Master wanting anyone to be fucking comfortable? The whole point of those seza kneeling and lotus positions is so that you don't fall asleep while meditating. Did you know if you spell YOGA backwards and add an 'N' you get 'AGONY'.

You were just enlightened. You're welcome.


So What Is Going On?

The Omnivore asked the Master "Master, what if I were to wear a swastika armband on the street? Would you think that was okay?"

"I would think less of you," replied the Zen Master.

"But master," replied The Omnivore, "I am just wearing a symbol of Hindu good luck! That it is high contrast black and red on white is so that traffic is able to see me so that I do not--OW!! OWOWOW!!!! OWW!"

He was fast with the Zen stick.

But The Omnivore's point had been made: If you communicate in symbols, you are beholden to those signifiers. Just because you say you are not intending the signal does not mean that you are not still using it. Despite the best attempts of, like, U2 and The Beatles, Charlie Manson, although dead, still owns Helter Skelter.

Taking a symbol back is hard.

Everyone knows this--everyone understands this--even if they don't want to consciously admit it.

So What Gives With The Zen Master?

The Omnivore heard a story. It's an odd one and he has no idea what it means. Maybe someone can clue him in.

A student looked up at the impossible mountain and said "Master, I can climb that high mountain that has defeated everyone and return with the magical flower atop it!"

The Master said "You may try--but if you do so, you will fall."

The student looked evenly at the master: "I will not fall," he said. And he climbed the mountain. When he returned, he showed the flower at the tavern and led a parade of the people down the street to the master's school he entered the master's chambers and said "You see? You were wrong! I have returned with the flower."

When he displayed it, the master looked sadly at the flower. "You fell," said The Master, and he went back to sleep.

* The sound is fap-fap-fap-fap