In Oregon, an armed militia led by three of Cliven Bundy's sons has taken over a federal building. They're doing this to return the lands to the people--and to free two ranchers who were charged with setting fires (and maybe poaching--and maybe setting fires to cover the poaching). Is this the collapse of society?
No.
The Omnivore smells ratings gold.
BEHOLD
[ LEAKED PILOT: THE BUNDYS OF HARNEY COUNTY -- PARTIAL SCRIPT ]
EXT. HARNEY POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY
SHERIFF and ATTORNEY GENERAL LORETTA LYNCH is looking at brand new POLICE INTERCEPTOR VEHICLES: SUPER-CHARGED PRIUSES with DEPUTY WEST.
SHERIFF LORETTA LYNCH
These babies will let us catch them Bundy Boys with their souped up Humvee!
DEPUTY WEST
Sure will, ma'am. They just came down from Homeland Security. We're also getting an MRAP and a Reaper Drone loaded with nerve gas.
VOICE FROM OFF SCREEN
OTHER DEPUTY
Sheriff Loretta! Sheriff Loretta! Them Bundy Boys have taken over the National Wild Life Building! They've got them FREEDOM FIGHTER Outlaws with them.
LORETTA LYNCH
Saddle up boys. We're goin' to get us some Bundy. Too bad that drone with the poison gas ain't here yet.
CUT TO: THE NATIONAL WILD LIFE BUILDING - INT. - DAY
RYAN and AMMON BUNDY are in the COMMAND CENTER. Heavily Armed REAL AMERICANS stand guard. A large map shows the wild-life refuge with encampments marked in RED.
AMMON BUNDY
Keep the perimeter manned--two man rule in effect at all times. Thirty minute check-in intervals. Check is 'Eagle.' Counter-Call is 'Freedom isn't Free.' Look alive people: Loretta's commin'
RYAN BUNDY
I don't like this, Ammon--it was easy. Too easy. It's like they just left the door open and we done walked right in.
AMMON BUNDY
Patience, little brother: We're gonna return this land to its original rightful owners.
MILITIA STAFFER
The Native Americans?
Everyone gives STAFFER a dirty look. He retreats to the coffee nook.
RADIO OPERATOR
I've got Loretta on the horn!
AMMON BUNDY (Nods sagely)
Hand it over.
CUT TO: EXT. WOODLAND CHECKPOINT - DAY
Loretta stands outside her armored Prius, behind her are three other Priuses--the group is surrounded by militia men with AR-15's. DEPUTY WEST hands her the radio.
LORETTA LYNCH
Bundy? We're coming for you. You surrender now and we'll give you a chance to defend yourself in court!
DEPUTIES
:: Snicker ::
SPLIT SCREEN: BUNDY in the Command Center, Loretta out in the woods.
AMMON BUNDY
You may have the government--but I've 150 patriots with the 2nd Amendment. What do you have?
LORETTA LYNCH
I'll have you know, Bundy, I didn't come out here unprepared. I've already called Washington--spoken to President Obama himself.
In the Command Center, RYAN BUNDY suddenly looks worried. Talks quickly (no voice over) with a scared looking FREEDOM FIGHTER.
AMMOND BUNDY
Well, Loretta, I can't say I didn't expect that. What's our dictatorial tyrant going to do about Armed citizens exercising their OPEN CARRY RIGHTS?
LORETTA LYNCH (Smiles evilly)
Oh, Bundy, he's already taken steps. He got out his phone and his pen and has issued an EXECUTIVE ORDER banning all guns. (Laughs triumphantly). You're boxed in, Bundy--and your weapons are useless now!
RYAN BUNDY
We've Got To GO NOW, AMMON! To The JEFFERSON DAVIS!
Both Bundys flee the Command Center. Chaos ensues as the FREEDOM FIGHTERS left behind panic.
CUT TO: EXT. CEMENT WALL - DAY
SPFX: The wall explodes and a black, armored Humvee with the CONFEDERATE FLAG on top and the GADSDEN FLAG on a RAM PLATE in the front crashes through it. The Bundy Brothers are driving.
RYAN BUNDY, Yelling to Abandoned FREEDOM FIGHTERS
Don't despair! We'll be back--even if we have to live underground like a new, modern-day, Robbin hood!
AMMON BUNDY
Roll Coal, Brother!
RYAN BUNDY
Throws switch on the dashboard and the Dixie Tune plays while black smoke FILLS THE SCREEN
CUT.
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