Friday, September 7, 2012

The Omnivore Interviews Libertarian Gary Johnson!

As we continue our sizzling series of third party interviews we come to the big kahuna: The Libertarian Party's candidate Gary Johnson! Libertarian principles are dedicated with laser-like focus to individualism and personal liberty. They believe, for example:

  • The government doesn't have the right to restrict personal relationships in anyway and in any public sector job. Gay marriage is up to the individual. Abortion, similarly, is an individual choice.
  • Self defense is the only legitimate use of force. Bear those arms!
  • No foreign wars: bring the troops home--from Afghanistan ... Iraq ... and Europe. No torture: unjustly incarcerated individuals can sue! Try the people in Gitmo ... In courts, even.
  • Remove unnecessary federal health-care mandates: provide for essential health care to individuals who can't afford it with simple "block grants" to states where innovation can create health-care efficencies.
  • Make Marijuana Legal.
  • Make it easier for immigrants to get a visa and a 2-year grace period for illegal immigrants to get work visas. Streamline the process to "reduce illegal immigration."
Here's his handy comparison chart:

Gary? Whoever made this split it over THREE pages. I'm cutting off the bottom because I had to  make this an image off your PDF already. DO NOT run the country the way you run your comparison chart.

So we reached out to him and requested an interview--a short 15-20 minute phone conversation to ask some friendly, insightful questions.

No response. But we, at The Omnivore, have a philosophy that guides us in our every-day lives--especially at moments of great crisis ...

Uh ... yeah--but that's not what we meant ...
Readers, allow me to introduce Gary Johnson!
Looks efficient ... Simple lines ... Not too expensive ... IT'S HIM!

The Omnivore: Hello, Gary--thank you for taking the time to speak with us! Let's get to everyone's first question here: does that Am I A Libertarian Quiz on the Libertarian web site EVER show someone isn't a Libertarian?

Gary Johnson: Only if you hate freedom. And America.

The Omnivore: Right. Okay, next question: Iran has a bomb, intel says they might attack Israel. You're the president: what do you do?

Gary Johnson: Israel has been a strong military ally and while I have to say that I don't see any threat from Iran right now, we have to be vigilant. Iran will not act against their own best interest--which an attack on Israel would be.

The Omnivore: So .... ? Intel says they're going for it, what do you do?

Gary Johnson: It would depend on the facts on the ground. I'd make sure they knew it was "against their interests."

The Omnivore: Okay--economics time: You'd get rid of the IRS?

Gary Johnson: Abolish them, yes. I'd replace income tax with a Federal consumption tax.

The Omnivore: Can the president ... actually just go and do that?

Gary Johnson: Let's find out.

The Omnivore: Okay, closer the reason why everyone else is reading this interview ... are you going to spoil things for Romney?

Gary Johnson: I believe the standard answer is that I will draw votes from both Obama and Romney.

The Omnivore: Yeah ... but?

Gary Johnson: My supporters--and Ron Paul's supporters, if they decide to vote for me, could make an impact this year. Our own newsletter points out that this year we could deprive Romney of five battleground states and thus, our supporters, could determine the election's outcome. We're polling at 5% and the spread between Obama and Romney is around 1% in a lot of places. We're also trying to get into the debates--which they want to shut us out of.

The Omnivore: Is a vote for you a "vote for Obama"?

Gary Johnson: A vote for me is a vote for personal liberty. Also: for legalized marijuana.

The Omnivore: Speaking of Ron Paul voters, do you think that the irony of the Republicans using a USA! USA! USA! chant to shut down the previously agreed-to democratic process in order to ram a rules-change through is lost on them?

Gary Johnson: I wonder if the irony of the Republicans complaining about the deficit is lost on them.

The Omnivore: You're something of a fitness freak, aren't you--your bio points out that you've scaled the highest peaks of "4 continents including Everest, mountain biked the TransAlps challenge, and have participated several times in Hawaii's Ironman Triathlon Championship."

Gary Johnson: It's true. It's also true that I left New Mexico as one of the only four states with a balanced budget and a surplus and cut over 12000 government jobs without firing anyone--

The Omnivore: Yes, we read that, but what we really want to know is--

Gary Johnson: I restored the State General Fund reserves to more than 222 million from a low of 28.1 million and--

The Omnivore: --Could you beat up Paul Ryan?

Gary Johnson: --and created more than 20,000 new jobs--I--what?

The Omnivore: He's a P90X guy and he's going around claiming to be a libertarian and handing out copies of Atlas Shrugged could you--

Gary Johnson: Cage match?

The Omnivore: Sure.

Gary Johnson: It's on.


  1. Replies
    1. You might like our other 3rd-Party interviews (and everything else under the humor link!).