Friday, October 11, 2013
A Theory Of The Shutdown
A Conspiracy Theory
In December 2012 a small group of loyal, patriotic True Conservatives sat together in a secret meeting. They looked at the numbers for Obamacare and they discussed what could be done to salvage the situation as Romney had lost.
John Boehner (the token squish): "Our last real chance has failed. The potentially disastrous Obamacare is here to stay. Looks like we've lost this one."
Ted Cruz: "I ... wait. I have an idea!"
Boehner: "What's that? Some crazy hail-Mary high-risk long-shot?"
Cruz: "Not really--no. This ... this could actually work. It's got a GOOD chance!"
Everyone turns and looks at the young, photogenic first-year Senator.
Cruz stood, adjusted his yellow tie, and spoke to the room.
"We can't give up," he said. "We are here to do the will of the people--if the people reject Obamacare, even if the President does not, we must serve them."
Heads nodded. The tenor in the room changed slightly. Cruz paced.
"We've tried votes to repeal. We've tried ad-campaigns of dubious merit and integrity. We've tried voter-turn-out. We ran a moderate candidate (there were some groans). But there's one thing we *haven't* tried."
Everyone sat on the edge of their seat.
"We've said so long as Obamacare is against the will of the American people we must stand against it as the loyal opposition." His voice rose. "What if: We made it more popular?"
There was stunned silence.
"There will be sacrifices," Cruz said. "It may even cost us our jobs--our livelihoods--but I have an idea ..."