North Korea Executes ... EVERYONE!

First I Was All ...

But Then I Was ...

The Omnivore should be writing about the budget deal or whether Paul Ryan is damaging his chances for 2016 ... Or the fact that Ted Cruz took 3rd most influential person in the world (behind Pope Francis and Barack Obama)--or maybe that #10 on that list is Miley Cyris? Something like that.

But no. The Omnivore asks the question that was on your mind too this weekend: Exactly how was Kim Jong Un's uncle Jang Song Taek executed?

The answer: Four-Barrel Machine Guns and Flamethrowers.

Maybe?

The Hermit Kingdom continues not to disappoint. This turns to be how they do it there--it's how he killed not just his ex-girlfriend--but her whole singing group:

Radio Free Asia (RFA) report cited a North Korean source temporarily in China who confided during the interview with RFA that "they executed the nine people in September from Unhasu and Wangjeisan Orchestra, using machine guns and flamethrowers," adding "Nine members including top Unhasu singers and a lead saxophonist were executed immediately following a cursory review without any kind of due process."

He also claimed, "There was a pregnant woman among the singers, but even she was not spared. After the execution, they used the flamethrower to incinerate the bodies, letting the ashes scatter through the air. People were totally shocked at the human rights violation they were witnessing first hand."

What? Do They Figure They Need One Barrel Per Singer?

 What Does All This Mean?
The key takeaways here are as follows:

• Uncle Taek was working closely with China. Presumably he was being asked to help set up some kind of soft-landing should the state fail utterly (China's worst fears: no, not using the nukes--Un "unleashing the Kraken of refugees" on them. He was also in charge of foreign investment. That ship appears to have sailed.
• Despite having just killed his uncle for, reportedly, plotting against him, things have not, alas gotten safer. Seoul is on alert and no one is sure what Kim's state of mind is--or even if he's really in charge. It could be that they're still right where they used to be. It could be that despite Dennis Rodman Diplomacy, the guy is a paranoid nut-case. Hard to tell.
• Kim Jong Un has taken on the title "Dear Leader" that was used by his father. This is not the move of a confident tyrant. Neither is a flurry of showy executions. If he's slipping things could go from bad to worse and we likely wouldn't know until something broke.

But mostly?

• These guys are Capital-E evil. Un just got a bullshit degree from a Malaysian university so he can, actually, be "Dr. Dear Leader." Let's also not forget that after executing Unhausu Orchestra the regime sends their families to the infamous North Korean prison camps. Great. Just great.

Can We Do Anything?

The answer, again, is no--not really. We have to assume this is happening for mostly pragmatic reasons--that killing off his uncle was done because his uncle represented some kind of real threat (allegedly he was stashing money off shore), that killing his ex-girlfriend was the kind of thing that happens when your current wife gets angry and you're the dictator of a country, and that Dennis Rodman, who is going to coach the Nork Basketball team, is actually spying for the CIA.

We can hope.

Man do I hate that guy ...