Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Nugent vs. Souljah: FIGHT!

Collision Course
The Omnivore absolutely cannot resist a request. It's like The Omnivore's kryptonite--so when Facebook reader D. suggested something to write about: "Ted Nugent vs. Sister Souljah" The Omnivore was forced to spring into action.

First, let's take stock of our two contenders.

Sister Souljah
Born Lisa Williamson in 1964 she gained fame for an interview she gave following the Rodney King riots. She talked a fair amount of smack--both in her rap lyrics and on-air live discussion--but the money quote was:
"I mean, if black people kill black people every day, why not have a week and kill white people? You understand what I'm saying? In other words, white people, this government and that mayor were well aware of the fact that black people were dying every day in Los Angeles under gang violence. So if you're a gang member and you would normally be killing somebody, why not kill a white person? Do you think that somebody thinks that white people are better, or above dying, when they would kill their own kind?"
When Bill Clinton spoke out against this, saying that if you reversed the races it could have come from Klansman David Duke, he managed to convince potential voters that he was a moderate! The 'Sister Souljah' moment was born. In case it needs spelling out, a Sister Souljah moment is when a politician captures the middle ground by re ... repu ... refuditating* a position linked to their side but residing on the radical fringe.

In other words, its a bit of friendly fire that convinces centrist voters the politician in question isn't a radical. Like if Elizabeth Warren married Jamie Dimon.

Ted Nugent
Born Theodore Anthony Nugent, Ted is the "Motor City Madman," a hard rocking 2nd Amendment promoting rabble-rouser who is a believer in bow-hunting, the Dallas Cowboys, and shooting. He once machine-gunned pigs from a helicopter. For the environment. In a recent interview he said:
I have obviously failed to galvanize and prod, if not shame, enough Americans to be ever vigilant not to let a Chicago Communist-raised, Communist-educated, Communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel like the ACORN community organizer gangster Barack Hussein Obama to weasel his way into the top office of authority in the United States of America.
There was quick responses from both camps--including three or four prominent Republicans. Were these (Republican) responses Sister Souljah Moments? Let's digress from our topic for a moment to take a look!

A Tale Of Two 'Moments'
In order to qualify as a Sister Souljah moment, a remark must:
  1. Address a radical position, person, or group that is perceived to have some association with the politician or their party.
  2. It must take a "bold stand" against said position, person, or group.
  3. It must risk alienating some supporters.
Here's our Republican line-up:

Greg Abbott
This is the guy Nugent is campaigning with across Texas. He's battling Democrat Wendy Davis.
The Quote:
“Sen. Davis knows she is suffering with voters because of her flipping and flopping on Second Amendment gun laws, and she knows that Ted Nugent calls her out on her disregard for Second Amendment rights. We are going to expose Sen. Davis’s weaknesses on the Second Amendment and show that in this area and in so many other areas, she represents the liberalism of Barack Obama that is so bad for Texas.”
Souljah Factor: Zero. Abbott has decided that whatever the black-lash for Nugent's speech he is more of an asset than a liability. He may also believe Obama is a subhuman mongrel: unclear.

Rand Paul
Leading 2016 candidate for president and Libertarian heir to father Ron Paul's legacy.
The Quote (a Tweet):
Ted Nugent’s derogatory description of President Obama is offensive and has no place in politics. He should apologize.
Souljah Factor: 2. While this is a rebuttal and may risk alienating some supporters, it lacks the venom of the David Duke comparison. It is not bold or striking. Also, it is unclear if there can be a Sister Souljah tweet.

Rick Perry
2012 candidate for President, successful Texas governor, and, eh ... you know.
The Quote:
I got a problem calling the president a mongrel. … I do have a problem with that. That is an inappropriate thing to say.
Souljah Factor: 1. He is okay with subhuman. This is unlikely to alienate many supporters. Also, "inappropriate" is like Nugent belched at dinner.

Sarah Palin
The Omnivore's favored 2016 presidential candidate.
The Quote:
“If he is good enough for Ted Nugent, he is good enough for me!”
Souljah Factor: Zero. As she endorsed Greg Abbott, she clearly has no problem with Ted's assessment.

Ted Cruz
He shut down the government just to watch it die. He's managed to, in the eyes of his followers, mostly pin the deed on President Obama which, itself, is quite a feat.
The Quote:
“Those sentiments there, of course, I don’t agree with them. You’ve never heard me say such a thing and nor would I. I will note, there are reasons Ted Nugent - people listen to him, which is that he has been fighting passionately for Second Amendment rights.”
Souljah Factor: .5 He barely even takes Nugent to task--he just says he wouldn't say the same thing. It's not quite Palin's endorsement--but he won't lose followers over this.

John McCain
2008 opponent to Barack Obama and elder statesman.
The Quote:
“It’s a free country, but that kind of language really doesn’t have any place in our political dialogue. It harms the Republican Party. I’m sure that it harmed that candidate there and it should be obviously repudiated.”
Souljah Factor: 2.5. It lacks bite--it has an unnecessary prologue (free country)  and it doesn't call the statement 'bullshit' or anything truly similar.

Newt Gingrich
Lunar ambassador.
The Quote: 
“What Ted Nugent said was stupid. I don’t support it. He’s a big supporter of the Second Amendment, which I am. But in this case, it’s not a smart thing to do. But I do think the level of selective outrage, particularly on the entertainment left, where they often day after day say much more vicious things about Republicans, it’s just kind of funny to watch.”
Soujlah Factor: 2.5. He calls Nugent stupid--which is a good start to the Souljah score but he then diverts into an attack on the press which seems opportunistic and designed to re-gain any supporters lost to the stupid.

The Findings
The Nugent quote presented yet another opportunity (it wasn't the first time--it wasn't even the second) for Republicans to Sister Souljah the rhetoric of the base. They declined. The reason is obvious: they don't think they need one. The plan is--and has always been--to win enough of the middle without having to retreat, re-brand, or even reload (okay, maybe reload). Their coming performance in 2014 and the Obamacare roll-out means they don't have to.

What Reader D. Really Wanted To Know
David from Facebook was actually asking: Who would win in the Octagon, Sister Souljah or Ted Nugent. Here's what we know:
  • Ted Nugent is tough and stringy but Sister Soulja is in a whole-nother-weight-class. While The Omnivore will admit that Nugent, pound for pound is probably tougher and stringier than the Sister, the fact that they could not face each other under UFC rules gives at least some advantage to Soulja. Advantage: The Sister.
  • However, as we are now holding the match outside of UFC rules, it is possible that Nugent will be armed--probably? Heavily armed. While The Sister might well be strapped it is a safe assumption that Nugent spends more time at the range and is a better shot. Advantage: Nugent. 
  • On the other hand, Nugent allegedly dodged the draft in a rather unpleasant manner meaning that he could show sudden cowardice during the match. Advantage: The Sister.
  • We don't know Souljah's height but Nugent clocks in at 6' 0". He likely has six or so inches on Sister Souljah. On the age scale though, Soulja is 49 or 50. Nugent is 65. Advantage: Tie
  • Finally, in the event that there is a musical element to the showdown, we believe that Sister Souljah can easily win the battle-rap portion but would lose to dueling banjos. Depending on the exact specifics of the confrontation it could go either way.
Who would win? Hillary Clinton who could roundly, publicly, and strongly refuidate* either victor.

* The Omnivore LOVES that word.


  1. No way, Omni! Evergreen's still so polarizing, so politically radioactive, that the mere fact of her nomination would practically guarantee a victory for all but the most insane (Trump / Palin 2016?) Republican ticket.

    Besides, who needs the empty panem et circenses entertainment of an extremist celebrity deathmatch when a far more satisfying spectacle is unfolding before our eyes:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, Crazy Bastard Productions, in association with the Trump Taj Mahal, is proud to present an evening of fighting for the Right-Wing Douchebag Championship of... uh... New Jersey!"

    "Fighting out of the blue corner, at 51 years of age and 245 pounds following gastric-bypass surgery, New Jersey Governor Chris "Under the Bus" Christie!"

    "And his opponent in the red corner, coincidentally also 51 and 245 pounds, Chris "the Fort Lee Blocker" Christie!"

    It just. Doesn't. Get any better!

    Refudiate that!

    -- Ω

    1. The ticket to watch is Stern (Howard) / Ventura. Christie on Christie violence would be a thrilling heavy-weight match though, to be certain.

      -The Omnivore