The Horrible Secret of Walmart and Jade Helm

Ominous!

I was asked to write about Operation Jade Helm, a military training exercise conducted outside of Federal lands (i.e. out in civilian territory) involving inter-agency communication and operations. It simulates an invasion on American soil and involves special operations forces. It's also driving conspiracy theorists nuts. How come?

Well, the primary reason is that conspiracy theorists tend to feel they are on the "losing side" of life/politics and things like this provide the siren-song promise of validation--the See-I-Told-You-So-I-Was-Right-All-Along feeling that apparently compels crystal-meth users.

For people who feel like they lost America in 2008 and then doubly lost it 2012, the idea of a fire-and-brimstone washing-away of America would, in its way, be welcome: for the preppers, it would give them a chance to use their toys and play soldier. For the angry SoCons, it would visit the wrath they long for on everyone else (especially those who voted for Obama). Basically, a government take-over would be proof-positive that conspiracy theorists aren't losers, aren't crazy, and were, well, right about everything.

A second reason is that as an emotional protection a lot of people have adopted is a barrier of political cynicism that leads them to conclude that anything the government is saying must be a lie. If the government tells you it's Monday? Gotta be Tuesday. This protection, you tell yourself, prevents you from being a sucker.

That's what you tell yourself. Unfortunately:

https://t.co/bTTjAi2LWx pic.twitter.com/hERO4Pzs0p
— Joseph Weisenthal (@TheStalwart) April 10, 2015

It'll make sense if you click the link . . .

The fact is that if the government were really trying to take over America? The cost of trying to take-and-hold something of the size and population distribution of the continental US--not to mention as heavily armed as the US is? The numbers are astronomical. We couldn't afford it. Seriously: The cost of occupying Iraq was 4 Trillion dollars--with a 'T.' The population of Iraq is 33 Million. The US, over 300 Million.

That Red Blob is Iraq

Imagine trying to take-and-hold the US. How about number of guns per capita?

During 2008, the height of the population, we had 157,000 troops in Iraq. The entire TSA with its spooky tons-of-bullets? About 100k people all together. A lot of those people are desk-jockeys. Their bad-ass special forces? Dumpy airport screeners.

Suppose the evil US government wants to turn us into a North Korea-like police state? How many troops would it take? Well, Nork has a staggering (highest-by-a-mile) of 47.8 active duty troops per 1000 people. The United States of America? We're oh . . .  uhm . . . not  . . . well, we're 4.7. We'd need about 10x as many troops assuming our population density was similar and the so on.

In other words, if you think the US Government could take-and-hold the United States by force? The Omnivore is embarrassed for you.

But what about Walmart?

Okay--well, let's go . . .

The Walmart Conspiracy Tunnels
There's a video from "Professor Doom1" who has made an incredible discovery: he has found a person with a 'well researched' (yes, seriously) map of underground tunnels that connect Walmarts. The person's on-screen handle is RiseTogether and she provides what Prof Doom1 calls explosive information. She found this map--and here it is:

That's One Well-Researched, Convincing Map Right There . . . 

This map purports to link, uhm, Walmarts together through, uhm, underground tunnels. These tunnels? They are going to be used to transport troops from Canada (yes, watch the movie) into the United States by stealth (because they're underground). Walmarts in strategic locations have been closing for "plumbing issues"--but we know the truth: they're going to be used by FEMA to house dissidents.

Or, maybe to repair their plumbing. It's hard to be certain at this point--but look closely at the above: The Bundy Ranch is RIGHT AT A DOT. True: there are a bazillion dots--but THE BUNDY RANCH IS ON ONE OF THEM. IT'S A SIGN.

This, folks, this is seriously in the video, our spokes-guy (bravely standing INSIDE A WALMART) tells us that SIX stores have closed. Are they being prepared? Prepared for housing dissidents? You could get a lot of angry people into a Walmart as anyone who has shopped at one on Black Friday can attest. Could this be happening? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

SOME OF THEM EVEN LINE UP TO TUNNEL DOTS!

Seriously, folks, if you live near a closed Walmart . . . or a dot on that well-researched tunnel map? The Omnivore would shop somewhere else. After all, there might be a reason the US Government has been printing all that money. No one has ever said why that is yet, have they?