|Don't I LOOK Presidential? Look at Those Chompers!|
He Can't Win . . .
A Des Moines Register poll found Clinton at 57%, Bernie Sanders at 16%, Joe Biden at 8%, and O'Malley at 2%. You can say he just started--but Biden isn't even running. Plus, what's his deal? Hey? Remember me from The Wire? Even people who kind of like his style admit he doesn't have a narrative yet:
But back at the pizza place, when we get back to the national question—the raging, nagging popularity of that newcomer up north who isn’t even running—O’Malley suddenly becomes … kind of wooden. “Yeah, uhh, I believe Sen. Warren has been, uh, very clear in her critique of what’s wrong with our financial markets,” he says after some hesitation, “and she’s also been very clear about our failure as a party to follow through on Wall Street reform. And people across the country respond to that clarity of message, and as a United States senator she’s had a big role to play. I have not as a governor or as a mayor had that sort of legislative role on the financial markets, but if I were to run for president and be elected, I certainly intend to follow through on the commitment of Wall Street reform.”
I wonder how long the pizza will take.
1. Who is Martin O'Malley?
2. Is Martin O'Malley a Democrat?
3. How old is Martin O'Malley?
4. How tall is Martin O'Malley?
5. What religion is Martin O'Malley?
6. Is Martin O'Malley married?
7. Where did Martin O'Malley go to high school?
8. How many kids does Martin O'Malley have?
9. Who funded Martin O'Malley's campaign?
10. Where is O'Malley governor?
Find a compelling personal storyline. O’Malley is a white Irish male who grew up in the suburbs, turned into a lifelong pol and became mayor of a city most voters know for police brutality and riots. You gotta come up with something better than that.
They told me this would be fun. This isn't fun--this is embarrassing--getting trounced by Sanders and then beaten by Joe?? Guhhh . . . I need a stunt. Ring-Match with Palin? Eh--she might beat me. I could fight Holyfield like Romney did. Might be worth it! I'd have to take my shirt off though--forget that.
Hey--I could do like a battle-of-the-bands with Huckabee! How about THAT? Musical debates--we'd sell out Madison Square Garden with THAT. OOh--I like it. Better put a helmet on, Bernie: I'm Coming For You.