The Illuminati and the Superbowl

This Sunday we we watched, in the words of an immortal Facebook poster, "entertainment involving a wrinkly, leathery, over-inflated thing that gets thrown from man to man ... But, enough about the Madonna halftime show." (!) Having watched, I can safely say that, if only via Computer Generated Images or cybernetics, she certainly wasn't leathery or wrinkled! In fact, I felt it was rather entertaining.

So what was wrong with it?

What was wrong with it was that it was part of the Illuminati Mind Control plan!

I kid you not.

The New World Order Conspiracy
In this post I tackle the byzantine web of the New World Order / Illuminati conspiracy. This is a reasonably modern (it appeared in, nearly, its current form around the mid-90's) version of the Secret-Society-Controls-Us-All (or is about to) conspiracy theory that has been around, well, forever.

What Is The New World Order?
Yeah, it's the bad-guys from that Pro-Wrestling stable from the 90's. No, wait. That's not it. The New World Order conspiracy theory is, simply put, that there is an elite group of people (perhaps a family) that controls the world--or at least manipulates it--and seeks to totally subjugate all of us. Usually the people behind it are, like, the Rothschild family--or the Rockefeller family--or a group of them (The Bilderbergs).

They are, perhaps, satanists or otherwise have strange and unsavory beliefs. They participate in bizarre rituals and control wars, set the price of gold, and try to mind-control us.  Part of this belief is that the power behind the New World Order (The Illuminati--the 'Enlightened Ones') controls "the masses" by putting potent symbolism (click here for Jay-Z's Illuminati connections) into the lyrics of pop-stars (Lady Gaga is an Illuminati Puppet!) so that the youth will grow up internalizing the message. In the case of the Madonna Half-Time Show the message included:

• Madonna dressed up as "Baphomet" or 'the Devil' (including making 'the hand sign'--no, not the finger--the Egyptian one hand up, one hand down sigil)
• Church-going choir people bowing to and worshiping her
• The words "World Peace" set out for the masses as 'her promise'
• Her bowing to "the dark priest."

The subliminal message is very clear (or something): The Illuminati and their dark god want the church-going good people of America to bow down and submit to their New World Order which will bring world peace (the end-goal of the New World Order is a world with no nations, one currency, and mind-controlled slaves after a mass kill-off of all you slackers who are wasting their oxygen).

What Do I Think?

Well, clearly I think this all terrific bunk. It has the complexity of an obsessive compulsive schizophrenic (apparently, lacking originality, the Illuminati control groups are the Council of 7, the Council of 9, the Council of 33, The Grand Druid Council, the Committee of 300, and the Committee of 500)  and the paranoia of rock-star going through de-tox. This kind of thinking creates "webs of meaning" by linking random truths (click on the links above: the Rothschilds really do fix the price of gold--and really do have a fortune that might be measured in the trillions) and a few potent lies (the idea that there is a Monarch program that is an extension of the real CIA's Mk ULTRA project is, so far as I can tell, absolute fiction).

But here's the question: How do you know?

Here's How You Know

You know because in order for this to be true it would have to be silly. Let's ask the question: in order for the Superbowl Halftime Show to be an exercise in satanic, globally orchestrated sociological mind control, what all would have to be true? Oh, sure: the Rothschild family could fund it.  I mean, if they wanted to spend the dough they could--but how would they do that? Firstly they would have to get to Jamie King.Who's that? He's the creative director behind the Super Bowl show. 

Now--it's possible, even probable, that they already did. He's one of the big names in pop culture choreography--but remember: the Illuminati doesn't just control the Superbowl--they inject lyrics into artists's songs. They control what images Jay-Z puts on his T-shirts (his line is Roc-a-Fella ... do you not see the connection!?). In order to coordinate this they have to have control at every level of the organization. Presumably Madonna is told what to say. Presumably Jay-Z is informed of what his clothing line will look like. Presumably Jamie King gets the memo (he's an important guy in pop-culture choreography but he is nowhere new the Council of the 33--trust me).

So we start with these guys sending their messengers (do they make phone calls?) out to all these artists and such and telling them what symbolism they have to include.

Then they have to make sure that (a) nobody talks and (b) that the plan doesn't get screwed up somehow. We'll assume they do this by threatening, plausibly, to kill everyone involved (remember Tupac?) if things go awry. 

How do they do that? Does the guy who shows up have a card that says, convincingly, "I shot Tupac?" How do you know that this dude in a suit (I presume they wear suits and dark sunglasses) and says "I'm going to tell you what lyrics to sing, what iconography to use, and so-on"--how does Jay-Z or Madonna or King know that he's supposed to trust this guy? What is that conversation like? Can you even picture it? 

Or can you picture Jay-Z going "Get the fuck out of here?"

But okay: they've gotten to everyone. No one has talked. There's no evidence. Hey, these guys are good.

Then we get to the whole investment side. Somewhere there's a smoke filled room and the Illuminati (we'll assume it's the Council of 7--because this is the freaking Superbowl so it better be high up--but the Council's of 9 and 3 are probably planning the Israel-Iran war) are all sitting around their Round Table (the real one from ancient Camelot because, why not) and they're looking at a PowerPoint proposal--hey, remember: evil is banal.

And they're going:

Number 1: "I like it--this will bring everyone over to The Dark One."

Number 2: "I don't know--I don't know. Our puppet Obama is running Clint-fucking-Eastwood after the half. I don't think we should allow that. Eastwood is like ... I don't know ... a patriot isn't he? He's not exactly Mr. World Peace. It could symbolically dilute the impact. Maybe we should call him off. I mean call off Obama--we've yet to control Clint, right?" :: checks blackberry ::

Number 6: Yeah. Remember the Teach-The-World-To-Sing Coke debacle. The Council of 3 is still making fun of us for that. We put in all the control signs and Coke sales go way  up and they still reject the one-world currency Amero!"

Number 2: "Fucking ingrate neanderthals. We should unleash the pig-flu! Who's with me? I say we do it NOW!! PIG-FLU!!"

:: Uncomfortable silence. ::

Number 6: "I'm taking the mistress to Disney World this summer. Hold off on the pig-flu." 

Number 5: "I just think we should've gone with Space Aliens this year. I don't like the whole Roman thing. And why are some of those dancers fat?"

Number 3: "The semiotic-impact will be HUGE. The eschaton will be upon us imminently with this dark sigil!"

Number 4: "I got buzz-word bingo. Come on, guys: this is taking forever. Me and some of the Druids are going to Febreeze Davos protesters."

Other Numbers: :: GLARE ::

I mean, really: what do you think that whole thing changed. Sure, everyone saw it--but do you think that, what? Now we're more likely to vote one-world-government? I mean, seriously? Seriously?

But okay--let's suppose that the symbology does work. Somehow.

Why Haven't They Won?

Here's the deal, guys: if we assume that the ultra-ultra-rich mega-heads of state are behind this all. If we assume they have secret knowledge that can be used to manipulate us. If we assume they are already orchestrating wars, playing King-maker, and already running Hollywood and Washington and, I guess, Moscow and whatever else--then why do they need the halftime show? If they can create and orchestrate the Halftime show then they already do control us in every meaningful sense.

If their penetration into the fabric of Western Civilization is so deep that they can control us with subliminal messages, fix our elections, control our currency? What's left? They did the Halftime show--what was the Return On Investment supposed to be. I mean, if their goal is, as proposed, to unify the world under one government without national boundaries and with one currency?

All we can reasonably conclude is that they are very, very bad at it.