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Wednesday, August 22, 2018

The Twist You Missed

The twist of the knife, that is.

Yesterday you were probably consumed with the split-screen at 4:00 PM of Cohen pleading guilty to some anonymous presidential candidate telling him to break the law (The Omnivore's guess: Jill Stein--never trusted her) and the Manafort Jury taking a stab at nullification but unable to fully Trumpaloo it and coming back with 40 years worth charges.

You thought: "Man--both things on the same day--at the same hour? The 2018 writers have gotten lazy af."

Yes, dear reader, yes they have. The Writers have gotten lazy as fuck.

But that was just the smooth, creamy ice cream and non-dairy whipped topping of injury to the Trumpaloo. The insulting cherry on top was the Awan verdict.

The What??

A Trump-supporter The Omnivore knows has been following--with interest--the great saga of the Awan brothers--Pakistani maybe-spies--who maybe-raided the House computer banks--and maybe blackmailed Debbie Wasserman Schultz--with maybe information about who maybe-assassinated Seth Rich and (maybe) sent Donna Brazille to the Seth Rich hospital to finish the job with a poison needle while whistling Twisted Nerve.

If you are now totally fucking confused, The Omnivore envies you: The Omnivore wishes he could read the above and be totally fucking confused. But, alas, now you have to suffer too.

"We all got it commin'"
--Clint Eastwood, Unforgiven


Here's the capsule report: Imir Awan, a Pakistani IT guy for congress woman and DNC head in 2016 Debbie "Downer" Wasserman-Schultz was investigated for what looked like maybe unusual use of the IT systems he and his brothers oversaw. While we don't (seem to) have the full Inspector General's report, he was definitely ordering some iPads and shit to his house (and maybe his brother's) and falsified a loan application to a bank.

He was grabbed while leaving the country to Pakistan, tried, given 90-days time-served--for lying on a loan application--and, yesterday, that was that.

Huh?

Well, for the Trumpaloo conspiracy theorist the DEEP STATE managed to cover up a massive spy-ring conspiracy that [ something something, something something ]. For the educated nose-holding Trump-supporting engineer The Omnivore knows (whose nose-holding is for show only, he knows America is in a battle with the brownies so you need a guy like Trump) it was A-STORY-SUPPRESSED--WHICH SCOOBY-DOO-LIKE MEANS THERE'S SOMETHING THERE.

For a lot of people this was hope that the hated DWS--that is, disliked by most Republicans--but hated by Bernie-voters who are totes sure she stole the election from him despite a glaring lack of evidence that she did anything that could cost him actual votes--much less several million of them.

In any event, the Omnivore was amused to see yesterday that the #QAnons were upset about Cohen and Manafort--but just offended by Awan.


2 comments:

  1. Wow that Kool Aid they're drinking over there must be amazing stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Imir Awan is... Bill? And Seth Rich was The Bride?

    So... If he weighs the same as a duck, then he’s made of wood?

    It’s a fair cop. Works for me.

    -- Ω

    ReplyDelete