Battle Standard: *
Special Armor: Sweater Vest
Arch Enemy: Google
Class: 14th Level Hobbit Cleric
Special Attack: Come From Behind 4d8
Hogwarts House: Head Prefect Hufflepuff
Retinue: 2d8 Closeted GOP Boosters
Treasure: 25 copper pieces. Length of string.
Vulnerable To: Women. 21st Century. Dan Savage.
Battle Standard: Mt. Vesuvius
Special Attack: Light Self On Fire And Charge 3d12
Arch Enemy: Romney
Class: 12th level Orc Assassin
Hogwarts House: Quiddich Leader House Slytherin
Retinue: 1D100 Zombie Horde
Treasure: 72 gold doubloons, used Ring of Second Chances, Who-ville's Christmas presents
Vulnerable To: Women. Ex-Wives. Lying During Debates.
Battle Standard: Charging RINO
Special Attack: Buy-Out for 3d6, 30% chance of critical. Rifle 3d6 vs. 'Small Varmints'
Arch Enemy: The Tea Party
Class: 3rd Level Fighter
Hogwarts House: Muggle
Special Defense: Robotic Body. Armor Class 32
Retinue: Michelle Bachmann's Debate Coach
Treasure Type: 300 Million Platinum, 32MM Gems/Jewels, Offshore account.
Vulnerable To: Occupy Wall Street, Villagers with Pitchforks
Battle Standard: The Gold Standard
Special Power: Invisibility to Media
Arch Enemy: The Patriot Act
Class: 13 Level Grand Wizard
Hogwarts House: Quiddich Keeper House Ravenclaw
Special Defense: Pass As Normal During Debates
Retinue: 1d8 stoners, 1d4 white-power enforcers.
Treasure Type: 200 gold bars under bed, 1x Baggie of Stoning, The Precious
Vulnerable To: Takes Triple Damage from Newsletters
Battle Standard: Predator Drone Blowing Up Nobel Peace Prize
Special Power: Shape Shift: appear to be what voter most desires!
Arch Enemy: Sarah Palin
Class: Either 11th level Wizard or 21st level Illusionist depending on who you ask
Hogwarts House: Claims to be Griffindor Seeker but has not released records
Special Defense: It Was Bush's Fault (vs. Liberals only) AC 50
Retinue: Frankenstein Monster built of Zombie Alan Greenspan with the double heads of Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner attached to one arm. Also: Hillary Clinton
Treasure Type: 15 Gold coins, Spiderman #1 Mint Condition
Vulnerable To: Red Sun